BreakFast: the Eve of Christian Fasting

I knew that! :P In just a little over 2 hours from now, our Midyear Fasting will officially start. For me, that means chucking a meal a day, cutting off Facebook, and no electronic interruptions for five whole days.. well, at least I initially thought so.. According to God, however, I was wrong.


From Isaiah 58, which was on our fasting devotional (yes, our church provided us with one!), I learned that fasting is NOT just about refraining from worldly things that you have become too attached to, it is also about CHANGE. It is about a way of living. Happily, I found a great summary of what true fasting is according to God's word in Isaiah 58 from ourdailycross.blogspot.com. :) Here it is: Here, he mentioned doing it in 10 days, which is wonderful. I also love how there are suggested actions to fulfill it. :) For me, personally, we are doing a 5-day fasting at church, so I am going to stick with the 5 day fasting. Basically, on top of my earlier commitments of chucking a meal a day, cutting off Facebook, and no electronic interruptions for five whole days, I am going to do my best to practice the 10 things listed in Isaiah. With God's grace, I hope I can do it.. ;)

How bout you? What's your experience with fasting?

Prodigal: Chucking the fear of Coming Back

How many times have you done something bad to other people and have them forgive you? And how many times have you thought that what you did was unforgivable, then that someone gives you complete forgiveness? How did it feel?

In our lives, there will be many instances that we make mistakes. We're human. God normally doesn't go around in a burning bush or a thundering voice anymore these days, and His voice can be easily drowned by the noise of the world we're in. Especially if our foundation is not firm. Once we get lost, however, lots of people are afraid to come back. Their fear controls them and they cannot get out of it..

They get trapped because they either think one or most of these thoughts:

1. "What I did was unforgivable. I'm sure the Lord won't like me now."
     Newsflash! God LOVES us, and if there's anything you have to know about love, especially His love, is that it's so deep that He'll never ever hate or unlike you. He may be saddened or hurt or even angered by some of the things you do, but He will never hate or unlike you. He'll always have an open heart and open arms for you.

2. "I'm ashamed of what I did. I can't face God."
     Newsflash! God knows you. There is nothing in this world He doesn't know, and He promised to always welcome you back, to cleanse away all the filth brought by your sin and make you brand new. That's what Jesus came here for, to cleanse you from your sins and make you acceptable to God again whatever you did before.

3. "I'm afraid of the punishment for what I have done."
Newsflash! This shame has been felt by the very first humans God made: Adam and Eve. Remember when they hid themselves in the bushes fearing the Lord's wrath and ashamed of their nakedness? That's what happens when we sin. We fear retribution and we think that by "hiding" from God, we won't live with the consequences of the wrong we did. DO NOT FEAR! God is just, but He is also a merciful and loving God. Part of being with Him is being cleansed of your sin and owning up to what you did. Do not be afraid to do the right thing and make amends. If you return to God, He will ensure you will be your best self, and you will be able to fulfill your life's purpose.

So what are you waiting for? He awaits your return. :)

Hysteria

It's been a long time since I last wrote here. Those who know me will understand that work has kept me supremely busy since the start of my workday this year. Anyhow, what made me write today? A friend.

Often, life throws us curveballs. Often, we struggle to balance these, but when time comes and one of these becomes lead, some falter, but keep on despite the stress... Mainly because they don't want to fail others. The thing they must understand though is that the most important thing for the people who care about you is your well being. Go ahead and fail, make mistakes. It's ok. We're human. We're programmed to learn and hopefully be better from those mistakes. So don't be afraid to fail. Often, it's at the lowest point that the greatest moments and discoveries are made.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I fear an abyss of uncertainty.
There's a hole I can fall into..
Any minute now, any minute now..

I fear the whispers of many.
Snickers, knowing looks, jeers...
They're crowding in, crowding in...

There's a swirl, a vaccuum
A void no one can fill.
We are trying, I am trying...

I feel confused, alone.
Whispers are mounting within
Swirling, slowly spinning...

I feel the pressure,
The stress and the agony
It's pressing me down, pressing me down

Somehow, I'll be okay.
Somehow, I'll find the strength to live
As me, independent from what they think.

Someday, I'll come back stronger
I'll come back better, readier, happier
I will be me, and fear will have no place here.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

All to you

Funny. I've never felt as decided as I feel now. I've never felt like this too after a scolding - I want to change and do better so God will not be shamed. Honestly, it seems as though after letting go of this job in my heart, I am more open to disregarding what the people think about me. Instead, what they will think about God because of my actions is more important. I think this is a better motivation than myself. God has been very good to me and I don't want to let Him down.

PRAYER

Dear God, thank you for this day. I got tired, but it's what life is. It's what being human entails. I'm just sad because I don't feel fulfilled. And I let you down. Father God, forgive me for my incompetence. I was selfish and irresponsible. I ask for your mercy and understanding. I will do what I can to make it right. Lord God, I am doing this for you. I am no longer up to it, but I want to uphold your name while I'm here. Father, please be with me as I strive to accomplish everything excellently. You are my strength, my Source, my Rock. Please continue to be with me.

These I pray in Jesus' most holy name, Amen.

Rising to the call: Overcoming Fears and Limitations

It's been quite some time. :)

I just came back from traveling. Went to Singapore and Bali, Indonesia care of my very generous single aunt. More on that on another entry. I want it to contain pictures. :)

Have you ever known, deep within you, that you need to do something, that it is what you really want to do but you just can't do it? Often, our fear and insecurities hold us back from what God wants to give us. I heard this story about a guy so many times now, and everytime I hear it, I always go away feeling sad, fearful, and weirdly hopeful. The story goes like this: There was a man who is touring heaven. In his wanderings, he came upon a door. When he opened it, he saw that there were mountainous piles of wrapped gifts inside. He shook his head in wonder and asked God, "Father, whose are these unopened gifts?" The Lord answered, "These were the blessings that I wanted to give you." The man looked at God, confused. "Why didn't you give it to me?" "Because," the Lord answered, "You never asked."

Yes, often, we are paralyzed by our fears and insecurities. As a result, we block the good things God wants to give us. Have you ever stopped and looked at these fears? I have. I just discovered that the fears that were holding me back are centered on me.
Can I really do it? What if I was wrong, and I'll only be a disappointment or a laughingstock if I take this risk? Am I good enough? 
See? It seemed to be all about me. I turned to God and asked Him for a lot of things to help me overcome my fear. Thing is, I was so focused worrying about me, about my limitations and fears, that I didn't realize that He has already given me the answer: It's not about me. Of course, I am majorly affected, but every decision is bigger than me and I really need not be afraid. Because do you know what's bigger than that life changing decision? Do you know what's bigger than life itself? Its Creator, our Father, the one who stands by our side, just waiting for us to put our faith in Him.

Today, I'm deciding, once again, to put my faith in Him. I don't know how it's going to happen. I do pray it won't be ugly. I don't know if I can overcome this fear asap. It's too deeply entangled with my view of myself - which is admittedly sorely lacking and filled with limitations at the moment. However, I will fight it. I will overcome. I acknowledge my weaknesses, but I also acknowledge my Lord and Savior. If he says I can do it, who am I to say no?

PRAYER

Dear God, thank you. Thank you for the weaknesses in me, which makes me dependent on you. Thank you for helping me see you amidst all my internal and external dramas. Father God, I am afraid. I was afraid. Now, I know I shouldn't be anymore. Like a Father who has been allowed back to their troubled teen's life, I know you'll do the most wonderful things for my good and for your glory. Lord God, I am inexperienced, not exactly well off, and has a quite low belief on myself right now. Nevertheless, you love me and you have made me for a purpose. I pray that I will be able to fulfill that purpose Lord. Right now I feel that I can do the most good through my writing. I'm not trained, but it is not about me, is it? It's about you. And you are the one who gives us the inspiration and the ability. I trust you Lord. You are bigger than everything. I trust in your love and mercy. Father, thank you. I love you.

Rich in You

Lord, you are the only one that I need. Everything I need is You Lord, for you are my life. You are my Shepherd, Father, Provider, Protector, and Lord. Oh Lord God, you are always with us, and you fill our cups to overflowing even though we don't really deserve it all. Thank you Lord. Thank you for your infinite love, wisdom, and mercy. You alone know the world, the workings of time, and more things than we can imagine. You are everything we need Father, to live fully and meaningfully. Guide us Lord. Please.

Being a Friend Always and to All

Children damaged and abused.

Prematurely pregnant girls.

People steeped in dope.

Suicidal attempts.

Depression.

I know what you might be thinking: "What is the world coming to?"

However, the question I would like to pose to you is this: "Where were you when all this happened?"

Often we get so caught up with our lives that we forget to check on the people around us. There have been many times when I'll hear that someone I know of - possibly an acquaintance, a friend, or a family member - loses their way. When this happens, most people go to their default mode: self-righteousness mode. They begin to cluck their tongues at the person, judge the person, gossip about the peson, in concerned tones of course. See the similarites between these people and the self-righteous pharisees who nailed Jesus to the cross?

Here's a song which aptly unfolds this recurring story:

So never ever turn your back on someone, or even wait for someone to go to you. Those who need us normally keep to themselves, either because of shyness or angst. Whatever it is, reach out before it's too late. And if you failed to reach out before and they fell, please... be one of the people who'll help them up.

May God empower us to help someone today! God bless!